


Masquerade

by Hoshiko420



Category: Homestuck
Genre: GamTav - Freeform, Hinted at Solradia, Humanstuck, M/M, pbj
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-08-08
Packaged: 2017-11-08 09:05:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoshiko420/pseuds/Hoshiko420
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IMPORTANT NOTE if you've already read parts 1 & 2. I changed the ending to the second chapter so if you don't re-read the last few paragraphs you will be very confused.</p></blockquote>





	1. For Whom the Bell Tolls

Tavros adjusted his mask, settling the simple black and white trimmed fabric back against his nose. It was itchy, but he would feel out of place without it in the expanse of dancers, male and female, who waltzed around the open hall. There were a few standing off to the side who had removed theirs long enough for a drink set out by the hosts of the affair, but no one else had done so. He knew many of the girls were excited for the big reveal at midnight to see who had swept them off their feet, but Tavros wasn’t really interested in it. He had only agreed to come to appease his best friend and roommate, Aradia, who loved these kind of things. It was her club’s monthly event and she had finally gotten him to go.

Almost instantly she had been taken away, and he could see why. His friend had been dressed to the nines in a deep red antique looking ball dress she had made herself and a genuine mask covered with matching feathers that stood out brightly against her dark hair. Even he could admit that his friend was beautiful in her own right, and he could only imagine what the other people who actually liked women were thinking.

Thankfully, he had gotten away with a simple outfit she had made. He had told her when she first asked that he didn’t want all of the frills and overdone costume ideas that she had planned for him. She had managed to talk him into a very nice black vest and bow tie combination over a long sleeved white shirt with pressed black pants. She also had pleaded with him until he had accepted the black cape as well. He had to give her credit, it was well pieced together and he really liked the way the cape moved. She had even managed to get his hair to lie flat, slicked back with who knows how much gel.

“What is a cute fucker doing over here all by himself?” A deep voice asked from behind him, causing Tavros to jump and spin, nearly falling over. A black gloved hand shot out and grasped his upper arm to steady him and he mumbled out a quite thanks before he looked up at the speaker.

And up. The man was nearly a whole head and a half taller than him. Tavros watched as the smile he wore curled even wider, head cocked slightly to the side as almost-purple eyes met his. His mask was a such a deep purple that it was almost black with a short beak jutting out ever so slightly. Gold accents to the edges and swirled designs brought out an entirely different elegance that made it look less like a faux Mardi Gra mask and more like a regal crown.

When Tavros could finally tear his eyes away, he noticed that his outfit was of a similar quality. Unlike his choice in clothing, the man had opted for a black cravat that spilled into his white vest, off set by a black undershirt. He also sported a cape that draped over his frame, the outside black with the underside matching his mask.

“Like what you see?” the voice asked again, this time with a lighter tone to it. Tavros swallowed hard as he forced himself to look back up at the eyes dancing back at him.

“It’s a very nice costume,” he said automatically, though not without honesty. He hadn’t missed the undertones of the question but he wasn’t about to show how flustered he was over it. “Must have taken a long time to make.”

“Wouldn’t know. It’s a family thing. I only ever wear it for events like these.” Those eyes ran down and back up the length of his body. “Yours is fucking sweet.”

Tavros forced back a blush and turned back to the dancing mass. “My friend over there-” he stopped, not seeing Aradia where she had been. “Well, wherever she is, she made it and dragged me here.”

“Glad she did, or else I wouldn’t have met you.” He held out a gloved hand. “Names Gamzee Makara.”

“Tavros Nitram.” He took the offered hand, meaning to give it a firm shake but Gamzee gently pulled him closer and laid a light kiss on the back of it.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Tavros. Would you care to dance?”

Tavros blinked and pulled away, thankful that the mask shielded a good portion of he cheeks against the raging blush crawling up his face. He barely knew the man and he was already pushing all of his buttons. In a good way. A very good way. Needing to distract himself from that line of thought, he shook his head and glanced away.

“I’m not a very good dancer.”

“Don’t have to be. It’s all about your motherfucking partner and how well they can lead. Come on, I’ll show you,” he said, linking himself to Tavros’ arm.

“But we’re both men.”

Tavros wished he could see the expression on Gamzee’s face as he faltered and looked down at him. He would bet that it was as intense as his eyes. “Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

He wrestled with himself of a moment. Aradia said to have fun, right? And it wasn’t like anyone here knew him. He could just leave before the reveal…  
  
Nodding his acceptance, Tavros allowed Gamzee to pull him to the edge of the crowd just as another song started up. It was a sweet melody that was vaguely familiar, but he lost all thought of it as Gamzee fixated his hands appropriately and led him off into a simple waltz. Terrified that he would mess up, Tavros tried to focus on the moves, eyes on the floor until he felt a sweep of warm breath on his neck as his partner leaned in to his ear.

“Relax. Let the music take you. Don’t motherfuckin think, just move.” Tavros shivered and tried to do as he was told. He closed his eyes and let Gamzee lead him around. He drank in the music, pulling it into himself as they moved across the floor. When he finally opened his eyes, dark ones were staring back with an almost hungry look to them that made Tavros’ heart speed up.

Instead of the normal shyness that would come from something so intimate, Tavros felt emboldened. He moved closer to Gamzee, feeling the way the other moved against him as they danced until his head was swimming. He hadn’t looked away in so long and the heat filled eyes made his stomach want to claw its way out of his mouth. He pulled Gamzee to a halt, closing his eyes for a second to regain his bearings.

“You alright?” The honest concern in his voice made Tavros smile and open his eyes again.

“I think I just need some air. A bit dizzy.” It was a lie, albeit a small one. He was going to take Aradia’s advice to heart and do something he normally wouldn’t do except for in his wildest fantasies.

“Then allow this motherfucker to escort you outside. Don’t want you passing out without someone watching over you.” Tavros nodded and took the offered arm, leaning on it with the slightest of pressures. He was quiet as Gamzee led him out into one of the gardens surrounding the large home. He wondered briefly who it belonged to before he realized that Gamzee had taken him into a small sheltered area that looked like it had been carved out specifically for a lovers meeting place. It contained part of the low wall that ran around another part of the garden, blocked from view, except for the front opening, by tall shrubs.

Tavros leaned back against the wall and opened his mouth to ask Gamzee how many people he had brought here before when he felt hands on his waist. A moment of weightlessness followed as he was lifted and placed on the wall with a squeak. It drew a low chuckle out from Gamzee as he looked at Tavros with a wide grin. The wall had given him the extra boost he needed to be level with the others gaze.

“Air helping any?” Gamzee asked, hands still on his waist.

Tavros adjusted his cape so that he wasn’t sitting on it and let his hands slide up to rest at Gamzee’s elbows, fingers toying with the long sleeves of his shirt. “Much better. I’m surprised you knew about this place though. It seems out of the way from the main area.”

Another smile and chuckle. “I know the area pretty well, and it’s always helpful to have a get away spot when you need some time to fucking chill with yourself.”

“Is that so?” Tavros asked lightly, hands slowly working their way up to his shoulders. Gamzee shifted closer, allowing him to.

“It is.” He was quiet for a minute. “In fact, you’re the first motherfucker I’ve ever showed this place to.”

“Really? Why?”

Gamzee shrugged, looking away. “I thought you’d like it. It’s peaceful and all calm like. You can still hear the music but, it’s like it’s in a far off place, drifting in the back of your mind.”

Tavros nodded absently and finished his climb up to Gamzee’s shoulders. He rested his hands on them for a moment, gathering his courage, before sliding them down ever so slightly and fisting a handful of material from his black shirt. When Gamzee looked at him in surprise, Tavros lowered his head and looked up at him through the slots of his mask before pulling him closer, head tilted just enough so that he wouldn’t jam his face into the small beak of Gamzee’s mask as he laid his lips over the others gently.

He felt a giddy jolt rush through him as Gamzee hesitated for a fraction of a second before kissing him back. Maneuvering around the mask easily, lips caressing the others in soft touches, he nudged Tavros’ legs apart to slide closer. His hands sliding up his sides to undo the clasp of his cape that dropped onto the wall with a quiet hiss.

Tavros pulled away briefly, fingers fumbling with Gamzee’s own cape, and let out a hushed gasp as his lips went to his neck, the beak of his mask scraping deliciously along his skin. Encouraged by the sound, Gamzee gently dragged his teeth over the delicate flesh as his hands found the buttons first on Tavros’ vest, and then dress shirt. Freeing his chest from clothing, he started to run his fingers down it, only to pull away with a frown at the black gloves still on his hands.

As he went to pull them off, Tavros reached out and brought one hand to his lips. He smiled and bit the end of one finger, tugging the cloth until it had shifted. He moved down the line of fingers, doing the same to each before he returned to the middle and grasped the loose fabric in his teeth again. He leaned back, pulling the glove free of its prisoner before dropping it into his lap and setting it on the wall next to him.

He grabbed the other hand and gave it the same treatment. Halfway through he realized how still Gamzee had gotten and glanced up at him as he pulled at one of the fingers. He watched as he chest rose and fell rapidly, eyes intent on his every move. Tavros suppressed a grin as he realized that he had hit a few buttons on his own and dragged out the process of removing the last glove. When it had joined its mate and Gamzee was pulling his hand back, he tightened his grip on the hand and looked straight into his eyes before sticking his tongue out to lap at the tip of his middle finger.

He heard a gutted groan, as if the other was holding back. With more determination to drag it out of him, Tavros took the digit into his mouth, tongue sliding along the underside before he drew his teeth over the skin. He sucked on it all while staring straight into Gamzee’s eyes. When he pulled back, he brought a second finger to his mouth and drew it in as far as he could go. It earned him another groan, this one less strangled, as he sucked and bit at the fingers, his tongue intertwining between the two. He felt them twitch in his mouth as he bit particularly hard and they pressed down on his tongue as Gamzee’s thumb rubbed circular motions along his jaw.

Tavros let out a moan of his own and closed his eyes, sucking on the fingers as hard as he could before they were pulled away, a trail of saliva following them. He blinked his eyes open, looking up as Gamzee crashed lips against his own in a frenzied kiss, tongue running over his lips in a silent beg to let him in. Tavros eagerly opened his mouth to him as hands caressed his chest and he reached for Gamzee’s vest, wanting to feel his skin.

As the clothing came loose and Tavros finally found skin, Gamzee pulled him closer to the edge of the wall and pressed against him. If there was any doubt in his mind that Gamzee was interested in him, it would have vanished as he felt the very obvious erection rub against his own. He whimpered softly against Gamzee’s lips and tangled a free hand in his hair, pulling his mouth closer as their tongues danced for dominance and explored each other thoroughly.

Pulling back to catch their breath, Tavros let the hand still touching Gamzee’s chest slide down. It came to rest just above his erection, stopping at his pants. He started to go lower when a loud gong sounded throughout the area, making him jump.

There was silence between them as the bells chimed out the hour. 12 bells tolled and in the distance they both heard someone announce that it was time for the revealing hour. Breathing hard, Tavros looked at Gamzee who smiled and reached out, fingers brushing along the edge of Tavros’ mask.

With that one gesture, everything inside of Tavros broke. He pushed Gamzee’s hand away, suddenly fearful. Inside his mind was racing, that it wasn’t a big deal. That Gamzee could easily see who he was and no mask would hide that. All rationale flew out as he realized what he almost had done, and with a complete stranger at that.

Choking out a startled “Sorry,” Tavros hastily grabbed his cloak and bounded off the wall, bolting past a bewildered Gamzee. He didn’t stop running until he had reached the place where Aradia had parked her car. He stopped beside it, bent double as he tried to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there when he heard someone call out his name.

“Tavros? Are you okay?”

He looked up as Aradia approached the car, followed by her lanky friend and not-so-secret crush. He watched as she stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, leaving him stuttering and cursing softly in his lisping voice before she approached him.

“What happened Tavy? You’re clothes are all a mess.”

He shook his head and glanced behind her at Sollux who was standing patiently out of earshot. “Later. Are you going home now?”

“Yes. Sollux is coming too, if you don’t mind?” She looked at him with hopeful eyes and he forced a smile out.

“No problem.” She grinned and swooped down to kiss his forehead as he gathered up his fallen cloak and frowned when something small fell from it. He bent low and scooped it up before he realized what it was.

“Come on Tavy. Let’s get you home and off to bed,” Aradia said as she maneuvered her outfit so that she could sit comfortably in the car. Sollux climbed into the front seat beside her as Tavros clambered into the back.

As she started the car and began the drive home, he looked out the window, mind buzzing with everything that had happened. The black glove clasped firmly in his hand.


	2. Chance Encounter

Tavros sighed as he leaned back against the armrest of the couch, his knees drawn up to cradle a much abused sketchpad on his lap. His fingers loosely toyed with a pencil, rolling it back and forth absently as he stared off to the side, trying to remember the exact look he was trying to recreate on the page.

“Are you drawing him again?” Aradia’s voice asked from behind him suddenly, making him jump and twist in his seat, sketchpad falling to the floor despite his attempts to grab at it. She shook her head, dropping her school bag onto the floor beside the couch and picked it up, gingerly leafing through its contents.

“Seriously Tavvy. I’m all for the unrequited crush thing, but this is getting borderline obsessive, and I would know.” She glanced at him from over a single page that held pencils of eyes behind a mask, raising an eyebrow.

He made a grab for it, only to have her tug it away. “Look, Aradia. It’s not obsessive. It’s art and finding a good model for your art,” he told her through gritted teeth, trying vehemently to convince her as well as himself. He knew she didn’t buy it as she simply shook her head and held out the sketchpad to him.

“Stop lying Tav, your accent gives it away every time. You really should work on that you know.”

Tavros groaned, hand running through his hair. He had been away from home long enough that his Spanish accent had dwindled to almost nothing, except for when he was pressed and struggled to find something to say. Aradia knew he hated it on the best of the days and gave her a halfhearted glare before she raised her hands in mock surrender.

“Just saying. You know, I have half a mind to bring you into class. We’re studying obsessive patterns in our patients right now. You know, how to identify someone of stalker material and talk them out of it into a healthy relationship. Maybe I could try a few things on you.” Tavros groaned as she lit up and he closed the sketchpad with a firm shake of his head.

“You’re not trying that psycobabble on me again, Radia. Remember what happened last time?”

“Yes. You came out of the closet, so to speak. At least, to yourself and me anyway.”

He shuddered, remember her probing questions about him that he hadn’t been ready to face yet. She had promised not to use him as her test subject again, but he wouldn’t put it past her to try. And yet, he couldn’t fault her for her inquisitive mind. She had been that way since they met at his mother’s funeral almost ten years ago. Her morbid fascination with the dead had never really bothered him, even after learning that her father was the mortician and her mother the director of the funeral home. It actually explained a lot about her, although he could never understand why she wanted to be a psychology major with only an anthropology minor. He had an easier time seeing her as an adventurer, digging through past lives by the junk people had left behind, rather than the stoic psychologist he often imagined.

“Radia, you promised you wouldn’t. Besides, what advice could you give me? Stop being a recluse and get out there?” he asked, mock cheerful as he set the sketchpad on the table beside the couch.

“Actually, yes. As your psychologist, I recommend two bottles of beer and a couple of bar hopping nightclubs will get you right in working order.”

He stared up at her. “Oh no. You’re not dragging me out to those ‘clubs’ again. That was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done and I won’t do it again.”  
  
Aradia rolled her eyes. “We don’t have to go to a strip joint, jeeze. It was only for half an hour last time anyway. I don’t know why you’re being such a wuss about it. Come on, Tavvy. What better way to get over your brooding than to go out and find another ‘model’ to distract you from that one. A better one. Model 2.0.” She laughed. “Oh, Sollux would glare at me for that one. I’ll have to remember it for later.”

Tavros groaned, shuffling to his feet. “I don’t really think– ”

She jutted out a hip, fists balled up on each side. “Tavros Nitram, get your lazy ass in gear and go put on some good clothes. We can’t have you been seen in that painted mess of a smock you call a shirt. Especially with Kanaya coming over to help me dress. And if you don’t do it now, you know she will only make it that much more difficult when she tries to dress you up.”

He allowed himself one pout. “You had this planned, didn’t you?”

Aradia grinned and gave him a gentle push toward his room. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, now go get changed.” There was a soft knock at the door and Tavros scurried away, the threat of Kanaya enough to get him moving. He also knew better than to try and talk Aradia out of her notion of bar hopping after she had invested so much effort into getting him to go. She would be dead set on it and not leave until he was following in line like a good puppy. With a resigned sigh, he pushed his bedroom door open and started rummaging around for something to wear that Kanaya would deem suitable.

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

Tavros let out a squeak that was lost in the loud music blaring from speakers all around the large room as someone pushed past him, effectively ramming him into Aradia’s elbow. There wasn’t even enough room to drink, let alone dance to the throbbing music invading his eardrums. It wasn’t the soft elegant music he had been listening to ever since _that_ night and he almost wished he had stuck to his guns and not let Aradia boss him into going out.

She turned to glance at him with a grin and he gave her a weak smile back, resisting the urge to flee from the crowded area as she moved forward toward the bar. He tagged along after her sticking as close to her as possible so as not to lose her in the throng of people as she ordered them both drinks. Kanaya had ditched them not long after they had entered the nightclub. She had blushed and pointed to a far off corner where a young girl was sitting, letting them know where she would be if they needed her. 

“See anyone you like?” she asked as she handed him an open bottle of Mike’s, leaning close enough so that she could be heard over the music.

“Not really,” he replied, sipping at the drink as he looked around. “I told you Radia, I’m not really interested in looking. I’m not really interested in one night stands and shit like that.”

Aradia sighed, or at least he thought she did, and looked directly at him. “Tavvy, you don’t need to sleep with anyone, I’m just saying you need to get out more. Interact with people. They can surprise you sometimes.”

“Yeah, surprise me with a tongue shoved down my throat and their hand in my pants,” he snorted. “Like that guy over there. He’s been eying you since we walked in.” He nodded toward a rather buff man leaning against the bar. When Aradia turned to look at him, he flushed and looked away. Aradia glanced at Tavros, making a face as she grabbed his hand.

“Come on and dance with me. At least you’ll deter the creepers away enough so that I can get my dancing fill in and maybe a bit buzzed.” Tavros nodded and followed after her, thankful that she wasn’t pressing the issue anymore. He waited until she started dancing to the fast beat of some dub-step remix blasting through the speakers before he allowed himself to dance awkwardly beside her. He was aware of how bad he danced, especially to this type of music, but remembered what Gamzee had said and let the music sink into the back of his mind. It wasn’t waltzing music, but it was good enough and he managed to keep with a steady rhythm that wasn’t as horrid as he thought it would be. Aradia even laughed and started pressing back against him. He let his hand fall to her waist to keep in time with her as the song changed and the strobe lights started flashing through the air. Maybe she was right. Getting out wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be.

He took another swig of his drink, mindful of his smaller frame and low tolerance for alcohol. Even when Aradia had finished hers and begged release from the dance floor to get another, he refused the offer for a second as he continued to nurse the first. As Aradia started on her third drink, Kanaya and her friend, who she introduced as Rose, joined them on the dance floor and Tavros took the chance to slip away to the restroom, knowing his best friend would be safe from anyone with the other two around.

He pushed the door to the bathroom open and was surprised and thankful to find it at least semi-cleaned. He also welcomed the added bonus of music that was muffled by the walls and massaged his tender ears that were ringing dully. It would be a miracle if he had any hearing left by morning and vowed to bring earplugs next time. 

He had finished and was zipping up when the door opened, letting in a blast of sound that was dimmed once more as it swung shut. A lanky man was letting another shorter guy lean against him as he led him to the handicapped stall. Tavros was washing up his hands as he heard a soft hiccup followed by a gargled noise and he winced in sympathy. He had allowed himself to get that drunk before and vowed never to do it again. Grabbing a few paper towels, he ran them under the cold water before rounding the corner of the stall.

His friend, lover maybe, was rubbing soothing circles on his lower back as he prayed to the porcelain god and emptied the contents of his stomach. Tavros wrinkled his nose against the stench of vomit and held out the wet towels. “Here, put these on the back of his neck. It works wonders,” he said, gently nudging the crouching man’s shoulder.

“Thanks bro.” The man turned and groped at the towels with a smile. “Karkat likes to think he can handle all the alcohol given to him, but I’m afraid he outdid his motherfuckin limit this time.” He finally looked up at Tavros, and then scrunched his eyebrows together with a frown.

Tavros swallowed hard, frozen in place as storm gray eyes ringed with purple met his. No fucking way this was actually happening. It had to be a dream, a mirage, his overactive imagination had gotten a hold of him again and he was still standing at the urinal lost in his own daydreams. Closing his eyes for a moment, he opened them again only to have those eyes looking back at him, recognition slowly dawning in them. The hand over his that still held the wet towels tightened slightly as the smile returned to his face.

“Well, I’ll motherfuckin be. Never thought I’d see you all up in a place like this,” Gamzee said softly, hand still rubbing Karkat’s back, even as he tried to turn to see who he was talking to.

“Fuck you, Gamzee. I can fucking hold my liquor. I just ate something bad, and why the fuck is that kid staring at you like you’re about to devour him?”

Distracted by the slurred words coming out of Karkat’s mouth, Tavros glanced at him as he leaned back, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. Gamzee pulled one of the towels out of Tavros’ hand and reached up to rub it across Karkat’s face, making the other man glare and grab it out of his hands to clean his own face with a grumble, his cheeks turning a smoldering red against his pale skin. A look crossed Gamzee’s face that Tavros would almost have to call, affectionate. Loving even.

His stomach dropped at the thought before he mentally cursed himself out. Why did he even think that the night at the masquerade meant anything. He had made out with a complete stranger. It didn’t matter that he had flushed all sorts of different shades that night. That he had honestly felt some sort of connection with the man, despite only knowing him for a few brief hours. He had to ask himself if he was truly that delusional to believe in something as childish as love at first sight. Lust he could agree to, but as he reflected on the past few weeks of obsessing over this man, (Aradia had been right again – he had been obsessed) he realized he had built up an image that he had grown fond of and he wanted to swear his stupidity out to the world. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

He watched as Gamzee took the second cloth and laid it across the back of Karkat’s neck before looking back up at Tavros. He started to open his mouth but closed it quickly as Karkat lurched forward and grabbed at the toilet just in time as the next round spewed from his mouth and Gamzee wrapped his arms around his shoulders to hold him stead. Tavros took the opportunity to retreat, fleeing back into the loud room that blasted all thoughts from his mind. He forced himself to focus on anything but the chance encounter as he pushed his way through the crowd to where Aradia and the others were still dancing.

As soon as he approached them, Aradia looked up and frowned. “Tavros, you okay? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”

“Uh, yeah. I'm fine.” He fidgeted slightly. “You guys mind if we move on? The, ah, music isn't really that good.”

Aradia frowned at him and opened her mouth, but Kanaya cut her off. “I think you're right. We should try the bar just down the street. I have heard that their music is very good.”

“Sounds good.” Tavros forced out a smile and followed the group of girls toward the door. They passed by the bathrooms just as Gamzee and Karkat came out and he forced himself to turn away, ignoring the call of “wait” as he slipped through the doors and started moving up fluorescent lit street, not looking back.

 

 


	3. Paint it Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE if you've already read parts 1 & 2\. I changed the ending to the second chapter so if you don't re-read the last few paragraphs you will be very confused.

The canvas sat blank in front of him. It mocked him, called him all manner of names. Taunted him, told him he was worthless, stupid, and just plain pitiful. It told him he was nothing. That no matter what he did, he would still feel like a helpless child crying out for the warmth of another touch.

Paint flew. Harsh blues stark against the white covered by vibrant red blended. Formed a layer of anger to hide the sadness. It rebelled against the mocking. Forced it to see him for who he really was. Splatters speckled the once white smock that had been dripped with all the emotions he had ever felt. The blue hues beside green, mingled with red, overrode the yellow until it was a swirling landscape of his life laid out for anyone who could read the depth behind the colors.

Tavros moved back from the canvas, panting. It was streaked with colors in no particular pattern that an unobservant eye could see, but each stroke of color betrayed the almost empty expression on his face. A quick glance around his 'studio', which consisted of an unused bedroom in the apartment that he and Aradia shared, showed the progression of his emotions in the two weeks since he had found himself at the mercy of his feelings in the dingy nightclub bathroom. They started out with blues and greens and at some point they had evolved into the mass of colors streaked on the current canvas.

He sighed and carefully cleaned his brushes, setting them aside to dry before he plopped down on the worn out chaise in the corner of the room. The clock hanging on the wall ticked away, revealing that Aradia would be leaving soon. Another month, another masquerade, another chance... to do what?

He hadn't decided if he wanted to go or not. There was still the matter of the glove that sat on the desk in his room. A bitter reminder of what he had done, and the fleeting moments of happiness he had felt at the time. Tavros had contemplated on throwing it out but it didn't seem proper, especially since it was expensive looking; however, it also brought up memories, both old and new, of everything it stood for and left him panting in his studio, each emotion painted on canvas for the world to see. Or at least, just him.

In here he could admit to the pains that had shot through his chest each time he thought of Gamzee. At least, that's how it had started. Pain and sadness had wormed its way into his heart, but it had evolved as it dragged up painful memories of a time much later than the last month. With those memories came anger. Anger at himself, at Gamzee, at the world that made people like him.

There was a soft knock at his door and he jumped slightly. “Tav, you coming tonight?”

He glanced at the paintings once more before standing. A renewed sense of anger bubbling under the surface. “Yeah. Just give me a few minutes to change.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Tavros followed in Aradia's wake, head bent slightly as he looked around the crowded ball room. If anything, the size of the gathering had grown again, leaving his roommate giggling in delight. He only had one goal for that night, and it didn't involve dancing. He gently tapped Aradia's shoulder before she could get away from him.

“I'm going out into the gardens. Have fun, okay? And tell Sollux I said hi.”

“Tavros...” She frowned at him and started to reach for his arm but he pulled away with a smile.

“Go dance, Radia. Your fans are waiting for you,” he said, nodding toward the group of people who were beckoning her over. He waited as she struggled with herself, clearly wanting to ask what was wrong but also wanting to respect his privacy. She finally shrugged and the smiled and gave him a slight curtsy.

“Fine, but I want a session when we get home.”

Tavros nodded, knowing he would probably need one after the night was over with. He waited until she had joined her group of friends before slipping out the doors and into the gardens. His feet traveled the path they had taken once before, a different set of emotions driving his feet this time.

The hidden cove was empty and it was almost a disappointment. He brushed his cloak aside long enough to hoist himself up onto the wall, feet dangling inches from ground. In the background, he heard giggles and laughter swallowed up by the music. The fast paced dance had only begun and yet he was preparing for the end.

Pulling the glove out of the pocket, he studied it again. Black silk slid between his fingers, dripping like oil and staining his mood just as dark. How could something so beautiful mar the unwritten pages of their narrative? He had to scoff at the thought. Narrative? How had he been addled by those storm gray eyes to even think there was anything there to be written about? When had he become a love-sick fool that danced a jig to the bard's tune? He had stopped believing in love at first sight and happy endings a long time ago.

The soft crunching of gravel brought his eyes up from the glove. Standing at the entrance of the nook was the royal purple mask shading eyes from view. The lips turned upright in an almost soft smile that was hardened by the expressionless mask as he stepped closer until Tavros swung himself off the wall with a graceless plop.

“I was hoping you'd be here,” Gamzee said before he could speak. His voice was full of earnest sounding dribble that Tavros had to force himself to ignore. He had heard the poison fall from other lips before.

“Here's your glove,” he said, holding it out. Gamzee reached out, the corners of his mouth twitching down for a moment at the briskness and took the glove.

“I'm glad you had it, bro. I was worried I had lost it.”

“Mm.”

The frown deepened even more. “You okay? I'm sorry if this is awkward for you. I, uh, didn't mean to let it get so far last time.”

Another punch to his already twisting gut brought out a sneer. “Yeah. I imagine so. Wouldn't want to be considered even more of a jerk that you already were.”

“Jerk?” His head cocked to the side. “Did I do something to offend you?”

“You could say that.” Tavros snorted, arms crossing. “You know, I'll never understand people like you. Why you have to ruin lives just for the sake of your ego.” When Gamzee didn't respond, he continued. “You just need everyone to want you. If someone doesn't trip over their feet when they walk by, you feel so inadequate and try that much harder.”

“What-”

Tavros cut him off. “It doesn't matter how much you hurt him, does it? As long as you're satisfied, as long as you can have anyone you fricken want, you're happy to let him wonder. Let the one you're supposed to be in love with wonder why the hell he isn't enough. Why you have to go out and find another piece of ass to inflate that bloated ego even more. It doesn't matter to you that he's probably back at home, crying into a goddamn pillow as he tries to think of ways to make you stay.”

“Tavro-”

Tears of anger welled up in his eyes, escaping through the holes in the mask and drenching the inside as well. “I'm not done yet so shut the fuck up and listen. I don't give a flying fuck who you think you are. I don't give a rats ass at how important you need to feel. You don't do that shit to anyone. No one fucking deserves that kind of pain. Do you know even what it's like to have someone betray your trust? To have them act like they just don't give two goddamn fucks about you even though they once swore up and down that they fucking loved you?”

A quiet sob escaped his throat. “To fucking beg for them to stay, even though they tore apart your heart and stomped on the remains? But you beg because you're fucking worthless and terrified you'll never find someone else who would even bother to look at you the same way. Have you ever felt that fucking way in your life?”

A heavy silence drifted between them as the last breath rushed out of Tavros, leaving him trembling and breathing hard. Gamzee simply stood in front of him, watching him as if he was waiting for another round of screaming. When it seemed apparent that he wasn't going to start again, Gamzee shifted from side to side and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, Tavros, I don't quite understand where this is motherfuckin coming from. You're making it sound like I'm all up and cheating on someone and I– ”

“What the fuck is going on over here?” A voice grumbled, a figure showing up behind Gamzee. Tavros turned away, lifting the mask long enough to rub the tears out of his eyes. God, why did he have to cry every time he got pissed? It made him look like a fool.

“Hey Kar, can you give us a minute?” Gamzee asked, making shooing motions with his hands.

“Why not let him stay?” Tavros grumbled. “Let your boyfriend see who you really are.”

There was silence, and then, “B-boyfriend?” Karkat sputtered. “You think he's my boyfriend? Fuck I wouldn't touch this dumbass with a ten foot pole! I'll have you know that my awesome piece of ass is sitting at home studying for some dumb fucking test. The only reason I allowed myself to be dragged out by this one,” he jerked a thumb at Gamzee, “is because he wouldn't shut up at how, and I quote, 'I hope that cute little motherfucker will be there tonight.' He kept mooning over you and saying how he wanted to get 'all up in that tight ass'– ” A hand clamped itself over Karkat's mouth.

“Man, why you gotta be spilling out all my secret feely feels to this little fucker? Not cool, bro. Not cool at all.” Gamzee glanced at Tavros whose mouth had dropped.

“W-wait. You're not... I thought, I mean at the bar you... what?” He covered his mouth, eyes wide. “Ay Dios mio. Carajo. Carajo. ¡Carajo!” He bent his head, hiding his face in his hands.

“Oh don't start that shit.” Gamzee's hand had loosened from around Karkat's mouth. “You'll get his panties twisted up with all that Spanish crap. Look, he's already panting over-”

Gamzee covered his mouth again. “Kar, can you please stop and just, leave us alone for a minute? I need to talk with Tavros about stuff.” When Karkat nodded, Gamzee let him go and he straightened his simple suit with a tug.

“I can't believe I was dragged here,” he grumbled, walking away. “I could be cuddling right now.” Tavros didn't look up as the mumbling died off. He just wanted to crawl into the deepest pit in hell and never climb back out. 

He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but refused to look up. Hands gently pried at his own, dragging them away from his mask but he kept his head down until the same hands tugged at the edges of his mask and drew it up. A quick glance up revealed that Gamzee had also removed his mask, letting it sit on the top of his head, and he quickly looked away again.

“I'm sorry,” Tavros whispered, a blush spreading across his face in shame.

“Don't apologize for having feelings, bro.” Those fingers caressed his cheeks, rubbing away the last of the tears. “I just wish I had known what you were talking about. Had me mad confused until Kar showed up.”

Tavros shook his head. “I shouldn't have... I mean, even if you were, it wouldn't have been any of my business with what you did.”

Gamzee cupped a hand under his chin and lifted his face back up to look at him. “Nah. I don't blame you. I hate that kind of shit too. No point in being with someone if you don't up and like them anymore. But it does leave us in a kind of awkward position, with you hating me as much as you do.”

He tried to look away again but Gamzee's hands were firm on his face. “I, um, might have been a little premature in my hate,” he mumbled. “I mean, I barely know you and, yeah. I'm sorry, again.”

“If it will make you feel better about it, I'm not even upset, but apology accepted.” Gamzee tapped a finger against his cheek. “But if you'd like to make it up to me, I'm easily bribed by some motherfuckin pie and I know a place that makes the best pie in the whole city.”

Tavros blinked. Was he asking him out? Even after everything he had said? Seeing the look on his face, Gamzee grinned. “Only if you're interested anyway.”

“I, uh, yeah. I can do that. I mean, I'd like that.”

“Oh my god can you two make this conversation even more fucking sugar coated? Damn it Gamzee I just want to go home to save what little brains I have left from that sugar induced shit. Can we please, please, just leave already.” Karkat called from around the bushes and the blush on Tavros' cheeks grew again. He wondered just how long he had been standing there.

“Great.” Gamzee pulled away and reached into his pocket, pulling out a phone. His thumbs flew across the keyboard before he held it out to Tavros. “Just punch in your digits and I'll call ya with a time and place we can meet up.”

Tavros nodded and carefully added them, double checking to make sure that they were right before he handed the phone back. 

“I'll call tomorrow. That okay?” When he nodded, Gamzee chuckled and leaned over to kiss his cheek while Karkat made gagging noises behind him. “Tomorrow then.”

He waved as Karkat grabbed his arm and started dragging him away. “Are you fucking happy now? You got his goddamn number so now you can stop...” his voice trailed off.

Tavros leaned back against the wall, mind still reeling from the night's events. Slowly, a smile worked its way across his lips and he started chuckling at the insanity and how it ended with a pie date. He snorted, and tried to calm himself down before he set off to find Aradia, idly wondering how she was going to react to it all.


	4. PB&J

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little... dialoguey.

Tavros sighed as he stepped back from the canvas. Even with the window open and fans going, the paint fumes were making him lightheaded. He had been working on the painting since dawn, when a nightmare had woken him from an otherwise restful sleep. It wasn't a nightmare, really. More like a memory and a warning of sorts. Or at least, that was how he was taking it. A reminder to not fall so fast for those storm gray eyes, even if they had cleared up the misunderstanding.

He chewed on a nail, making a face as he accidentally tasted paint and spit it out. A glance at the clock told him that it was nearly noon and his stomach rumbled a reminder that he hadn't eat yet. Capping an open paint tube, he glanced at his phone. Gamzee had yet to call with the promised pie 'date' and he was starting to wonder if he changed his mind. Tavros wouldn't blame him, especially not after the things he had said.

Needing to drag his thoughts away from his train wreck of a conversation, he pocketed his phone and grabbed the used brushes before slipping out of the studio. He frowned, stopping just outside the door. Someone must have bumped the sunset painting in the hallway because it was slanted ever so slightly. He reached out and adjusted it until it was straight, smiling to himself before crossing the short stretch of hallway that led into their combined living room and kitchen.

Aradia looked up at him from her spot at the low round table with a grin. “Any calls yet?” she asked as he pulled the phone out of his pocket and placed it onto the table before going to the sink, rinsing out the brushes.

“No, not yet.” Tavros set them aside to dry and washed his hands, drying them on the back of his pants. “Not really surprised though. I mean, after everything I said, I wouldn't want to call me either.” He reached into the cupboard and pulled out peanut butter before crossing to the fridge to grab bread and jelly.

“But you said he was relaxed about it,” she pointed out as he started making his sandwich, jelly slipping off the knife. He cursed softly and scooped it up with his fingers, shaking it into the sink as he dug out more from the jar.

“Yeah, but, I mean, come on. I basically screamed all my insecurities about that shit to him. It was like I was back in high school again with... well, you know. I don't have to remind you about that little incident.” He frowned, lost in thought before he looked down to see the jelly slipping off the knife again. “Crap.” He caught it before it fell on the counter and plopped it down on the bread with a triumphant “ha!”

From the table, his phone vibrated once before blasting his ringtone out at him. “I know you want me. I know I want ya, I know you want mee, you know I want ya.”

“Shit, my hands are a mess, but what if it's him?” he sucked on his fingers, trying to remove the sweet jelly before going for the phone but Aradia beat him to it.

“Hmm, number is not in your contacts, but it's local.” He made another grab for it but she beat him to it as she flipped it open. “Hello, Tav's phone. I'm afraid he is a sticky mess right now, but maybe I can be of service?”

“Aradia!”

“Shush Tavvy, I'm on the phone. Sorry about that. May I ask who is calling?” a pause before she started to grin. “Why yes Gamzee, he is a mess. A great big sticky mess. It's all over his mouth and hands and eep!” She squeaked as Tavros took the phone away, dropping it with a curse and loud apology.

“Shit, sorry, sorry! Gah, lo siento. She's a poco loca.” Getting the phone back in his hands, he cradled it between his ear and shoulder, rushing over to the sink. “Sorry, I'm here.” A deep laugh came from the speaker and sent goosebumps down his spine.

“It's all good bro, but are you okay? Sound a bit flustered to me,” Gamzee chuckled. “I didn't realize you missed me that much, especially if you're making a sticky mess over there.”

“No! It's not like- no. Aradia is just being- I mean, not that I don't – shit,” he babbled, shoving the water on so he could wash his hands of the jelly properly.

The laugh came again. “Get your calm on, I was just playing with a motherfucker.” Tavros wiped his hands off, turning to glare at Aradia who was bent over laughing.

“Some therapist you'll be, laughing at others emotional trauma. I swear Radia you're going to pay for that one,” he grumbled, taking a deep breath and turning back to his sandwich. “Sorry. Let me try this again. How's it going?”

“I'm all sorts of good now, hearing your voice.” Tavros felt his cheeks start to burn and he made sure his face was blocked from Aradia's view.

“Uh, yeah. I mean, that's uh- cool.” He mentally kicked himself. Cool? God, could he be more of a goober? “So, anyway. Are we still on for that, pie thing?”

“Hell yeah. I just got the stuff for it.”

Tavros frowned, licking the excess jelly off the edges of his sandwich. “What stuff? I thought you wanted to go to the best pie place in town.”

He heard a store bell go off in the background of the call as Gamzee chuckled. “I did say that, didn't I. Well, I guess I forgot to tell you that the best pie place in town is right at my motherfucking place. I make the best damn pies around, and you can ask anyone who's had one.”

“You bake?” Tavros asked, intrigued.

“And cook, but baking is my specialty. Do all sorts of things for people. Decorating cakes and shit for birthdays and weddings. I love it.”

“Wow, that's... really awesome. I can boil water to make Ramen and I'm not bad with a barbeque, but none of that baking stuff.” He took a bite of his sandwich as he heard Aradia behind him, chair scraping back. He heard her footsteps grow louder and was about to turn when she rested her chin on his free shoulder.

“What's going on?” she asked him in a mock whisper which made Gamzee snort over the phone. “Are you going out today? Are you going to get into his pants? Come on Tav, spill.”

Tavros dropped his sandwich and went to elbow her but she moved out of the way. He attempted to cover the speaker. “Are you trying to embarrass me Aradia?” he asked. “and you know I don't do the one night stand stuff, so you should know better than to ask that.”

She laughed, dancing away from the kitchen. “Come on Tavvy, it's been what? Four years since you last got laid? Maybe you'd loosen up a bit if you did.”

“Aradia-” he growled quietly and she held her hands up in surrender.

“Sorry, sorry. That was below the belt, but please. Carry on.” He watched as she plopped down onto the couch, casually flipping on the tv. Tavros sighed, shaking his head.

“Hello? Tavros, you there?”

“Sorry. Aradia is being a pain right now,” he grumbled, leaning back against the counter, sandwich forgotten.

“It's all cool. So, you still up for pie?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you still want to.” He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure how he felt about going over to Gamzee's place alone. What if things got heated like they had at the masquerade? He didn't want to jump into that, even if his hormones were raging for it.

“Shit, hell yes I do. You're not getting out of this so easily. Karkat's off with his...” Tavros frowned at the pause. “I guess you could call her his girlfriend. His relationship stuff is a little on the odd side, but he'll probably be back before the pies are done. That okay with you? We do pizza or some shit if you want, too.”

Tavros let out the breath he had been holding. “Yeah, that sounds good. Do you want me to go over or-”

“Wouldn't be all right to let a motherfucker walk by himself, unless you have your own car or some shit. Where you live?”

He told Gamzee who went quiet before letting out a honk of a laugh, drawing a smile to Tav's lips. “What? What's so funny?”

“You know the supermarket like two blocks away?”

“Yeah?”

“I just left there. I can swing by to pick you up if you don't mind walking a bit. I live about 8 blocks away from you.”

Tavros froze. “You mean like, right now? Right now, now?”

“That a problem?” he heard the worry in Gamzee's voice.

“No! No, I just, no, I gotta jump in the shower though and get dressed. I'm still in my painting clothes.” Tavros started out of the kitchen, ignoring Aradia's questioning stare. “Give me five minutes or so and I'll be ready.”

“You paint? That's awesome. But yeah, it should take me about that long to get there, so get to it.”

He nodded before he realized Gamzee couldn't see him and he coughed lightly. “Yeah. I'll, uh, see you in a bit then?”

“See you then.”

Tavros mumbled goodbye before closing the phone. He stopped just outside of the bathroom and turned back to the living room. “Aradia! He's coming over in five minutes! Just, if he gets here before I'm out of the shower, please, please, for the love of god, don't say anything embarrassing to him. Por favor mi amiga?”

“No promises!” She sang back at him. He cursed and started the shower, stripping as he waited for the water to heat up. If Aradia said anything she was going to die a very slow and painful death at his hands. As soon as it was warm enough to stand, he stumbled in, washing every part of his body as fast as he could. Did someone just knock? Oh god, was he here already? Was Aradia talking to someone? He rushed and accidentally grabbed Aradia's strawberry shampoo. He shrugged it off as he rinsed it out and shut off the water.

Grabbing a towel, he rubbed himself down and fluffed it over his hair before he froze, realizing he hadn't grabbed any clothes and his room was closest to the living room. Letting out a small curse, he wrapped the towel around his waist before peaking out of the bathroom. He heard Aradia's laugh followed by a low male voice and he wanted to cry. Why did he have to show up so fast? He couldn't have taken that long in the shower!

As quietly as he could, he crept down the hallway. He slowly eased open his bedroom door, grinning at getting away with it before stubbing his toe on the doorway in the process. He yelped and covered his mouth, staring at the open of the hallway where two heads peaked out at him. Aradia dissolved into a giggling fit while Gamzee just grinned.

“Well,” he started, running his eyes down Tav's body. “A show and dessert? Oh, you shouldn't have motherfucker.”

Tavros blushed and stumbled into his room, muttering to himself about his own stupidity as he rummaged around for something clean to wear. How had he gotten there so fast? Was he really that eager to see him? The thought made him giddy with anticipation as he grabbed a black shirt but stopped, thinking; if they were going to make the pies, they would be working with flour, right? He tossed the black shirt in the corner of his room before looking around. Rifling under a pile of clean laundry, he pulled out his tan cargo pants and yanked them on. Reaching for a forest green tank-top and darker tan over shirt, he slipped them on and checked himself out in the mirror.

Everything looked good, except for his hair which had puffed itself up over the quick ruffled dry. Grabbing a brush, he struggled to flatten it until he hear Aradia call out.

“Are you done primping in there? I swear you are worse than me sometimes.”

“Hold your caballos!” Giving up on his hair, he grabbed two earrings off the stand, trying to put them in as he walked out into the living room. “You're so loca today,” he snorted at her, managing to get the stud in as he glanced at Gamzee, cheeks heating up again.

Gamzee grinned lazily back at him. “Sorry about the teasing, bro. It was just prime opportunity, and by prime, I mean the choicest bit of meat because damn you look good in a towel.”

“Uh, I don't quite know...” he fumbled with the curled industrial bar, trying to get it through the holes properly. “what to, uh, say to that.”

“You smile, bat your eyelashes, and thank the man. Gee Tav, I didn't realize you were so far gone from the dating game to forget something like that,” Aradia teased, making him stick out his tongue at her. He cursed, nearly dropping a ball, before Gamzee stepped closer, fingers gingerly taking the bar.

“How long you've had this for?” he asked, efficiently slipping the bar in and holding his hand out for the balls, which Tavros gave him with a weak smile.

“Almost a year, but I don't change it that often. It's a pain sometimes,” he mumbled, trying not to notice the hands on his ear.

“It can be,” Gamzee agreed, tightening the last ball before pulling back, but not without a light touch trailing over the helix of his ear. “Especially if your hands are shaking like a motherfuckin leaf. Don't be so nervous, I promise I'm not going to eat you up.” He smiled, eyes soft as Tavros swallowed hard.

He had hoped Gamzee wouldn't notice his hands. “Yeah. Sorry about that, it's just been a while since, well, anything even remotely related to dating. Or, you know, whatever this is.” he added quickly, in case he had misunderstood the pie offer intentions.

“Well then,” Gamzee slung an arm around his shoulders and tugged him toward the door where two grocery bags were waiting. “I'll make this the best pie date you've ever had.” He glanced back at Aradia who was grinning. “Did you want to come too? There's more than enough pie to go around.”

Aradia shook her head, waving them on. “Sollux is coming over later to help me with my website, but I'll take a piece whenever you decide to send Tavvy home. Just so you know, he doesn't have a curfew so you can keep him as long as you want.”

Tavros rolled his eyes. “Radia, I do have homework to finish this weekend.”

“You have all day tomorrow to do it, Mr. I-don't-have-classes-on-Monday-or-Friday. So actually take some time and have fun.” She looked back at Gamzee. “He's not that much of a stiff, I promise. Just make sure you take care of him and don't feed him after midnight. Getting him wet is okay though. In fact, it's highly encouraged.”

Gamzee chuckled and picked up the bags as Tav groaned, rubbing his face. “I'll keep that in mind.” he gave her a quick wink and nudged Tavros out the door. “Come on bro, let's got make some pies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally intended it to last longer but this felt like a good place to end. I don't think the next chapter will take as long to write out, unless I get another brain block like the last one.


	5. Of Baking and Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg, get ready for some sap.
> 
> because I am a fucking sugarbush of maple trees
> 
> and you’re about to drown in it.

Chapter 5- Of Baking and Bonding

  
  


Gamzee shifted the bags into his left hand, despite Tavros' offer to carry a few on the way. He dug into the pockets of his cargo shorts, fishing around for keys that he brought up with a triumphant smile. Readjusting his grip on his groceries, he grabbed one key away from the rest and shoved it into the ancient looking lock on the door of his apartment complex.

“Just warning you bro, it may be a bit on the messy side. Kar and I only really clean up when Rez comes over. She's legally blind, with a dog and everything. Says she can see colors and shapes and shit, but we try make it so she doesn't have to pick her way around.” He turned the key, pushing the door open with his shoulder as he struggled to retract the key one handed.

Tavros grinned and reached out, grabbing the bags while he was distracted. With a slight pout, Gamzee turned to the door with his free hand holding it steady and managed to wedge the key out. He held his hands out for the bags but Tavros shook his head.

“Won't you need another key to get in the apartment? Just let me carry them. It's no big deal.” Relenting, Gamzee led him into the building. He bypassed the stairs and instead went for one of the doors at the end of the short hallway. He had the door open in a minute, sweeping his arm in front of him with a goofy grin.

“Right this way, motherfucker.” Tavros shook his head, smile inching wider. The longer he was around Gamzee, the harder it was to be nervous. He gave off a mix of calm and silly, hanging around him in a cloud and infecting those near him. He slipped past Gamzee's outstretched arm, before coming to a stop just inside the door.

He had been right about the mess. It wasn't a cluttered mess with piles of garbage everywhere, more like a quieter mess. As if someone just had guests over and had forgotten to pick up the remains of their visit. Bottles of soda lingered on end tables and the floor near the tan couch. Like his and Aradia's apartment, there wasn't much separating the living room and the kitchen.

And wow, what a kitchen it was. Here the mess ended. Stainless steel glinted from the light shining in from a small window over the sink. A large island took up a majority of the room, almost making a barrier from the living room that deemed what was kitchen and what wasn't. Bar stools lined one side, the other free to allow someone to walk between the oven, sink, and refrigerator easily without running into anything. Various appliances also covered the counter space, gleaming with an almost sterile cleanliness.

While he was distracted with the kitchen, Gamzee swooped in and grabbed the bags, tugging Tavros' attention back to him. “This is awesome. Our kitchen is so tiny you can barely move around the table,” he murmured, slipping off his sandals where Gamzee had shed his own shoes. Socked feet shuffled after bare as the bags were deposited on to the island.

“My only wish when we went looking for a place was a big kitchen, so I can make all my miracles happen.” He began pulling things out of the bag, settling them down in an arc across the linoleum top. Flour, shortening and baking powder went on one side, while various flavors of pudding and even a can of pumpkin went on the other side. “Didn't know what you liked, so I grabbed a bit of everything.”

Tavros chuckled, leaning against the island as he watched Gamzee arrange things to how he wanted them. “I like a bit of everything. Not picky.”

Something flashed through Gamzee's eyes as the glanced at him. “Well, that would explain a few things.” He reached out and tweaked Tavros' nose, stopping him from asking what he meant. “Now, you all ready to help me make some sweet ass pies?” he asked as he walked over to a small cupboard, pulling it open to reveal a dark purple apron and a white one. He tossed Tavros the white one before tying up his own. The front of it had bright purple lettering across the front reading 'I Keep The Best Snacks Under My Apron!" He turned back to the cupboard, pulling out sugar, baking powder and vinegar

“Well,” Tavros started, eyes narrowing at Gamzee with a wicked grin. “I don't think I know you well enough to make any cream pies, but I might be able to help you with the others.” He said innocently as he tied back the apron.

Gamzee stopped mid turn, still holding the ingredients. He blinked at Tavros before letting out a stifled laugh. He hurried to put the items on the counter before he bent over, his true laugh bursting through in a series of loud honks that made Tavros chuckle. When he was able to straighten, he took a deep breath, laughter still on the edges of it.

“Oh god, bro. And here I thought you were just a quiet, cute motherfucker.” He grinned at Tavros, eyes dancing. “But you got a dirty side to you too, don't you?” He laughed again, going to the refrigerator and pulling out a carton of eggs.

“It comes and it goes. Most of the time, goes and leaves me looking like the dork I am.”

Gamzee motioned him closer. “If you're a dork, then so am I bro. Now, hands first. We're going to get down and dirty with these bitchin ingredients.” He gave his own hands a good scrub before moving aside for Tavros to do the same.

“Just so you know, I'm really not that good at baking. I'll probably just mess it up,” Tavros said, washing the grime off of his hands.

“Not a motherfucking chance with my recipe. Gamzee's Never Fail Awesome Pie Crust. Always comes out good.” He pulled a large metal bowl from a cupboard under the island, followed by a roller. “Now, grab two of those eggs and get crackin. Just put it all in the bowl.”

Tavros followed his instructions, glancing over as Gamzee opened a tub and a burst of powder shot up, dusting his face with white. Tav snorted as he ignored it and cut open the bag of flour, dumping it into the tub. As he cracked the eggs, Gamzee leveled out a cup of flour and up ended it into the bowl with the eggs. It was followed by five more cups before Gamzee set aside the flour and started mixing it up with his hands.

“Gotta do it by hand. Best way to make sure everything gets mixed right.” He stopped mixing after a moment before gesturing to the bowl with sticky hands. “Go at it while I get the rest.” Tavros nodded, making a face as he dug into the bowl. The eggs slipped through his fingers before he crushed them into the flour. It was almost as if there wasn't enough liquid to really get the kind of dough he had seen other people use. His thoughts were interrupted when Gamzee poured a half cup of water into the bowl.

“You really gotta work it in there.” Tavros stiffened slightly as Gamzee wrapped his arms around him and reached into the bowl, massaging the mixed materials with his hands as well. Swallowing hard, Tavros tired to ignore the firm chest against his back and the mouth just inches away from his ear as Gamzee leaned forward to work at the mixture.

“Good,” he murmured, voice lowered at being so close. It sent a chill down his spine and Tavros had to bite his lip to stop the startled squeak from escaping. Gamzee pulled away, hand leaving the bowl even stickier than they had been before gathering up the next ingredients. “Dash of vinegar, a bit of sugar and salt,” he said as he added them. “And finally the shortening.”

Tavros watched, amazed as he picked out the items, adding them with the ease of long practice. He only had to measure out the shortening, the rest he simply plopped into the bowl one at a time. Tav continued mixing it until it was firm under his hands. Gamzee gently hip checked him with a nod and he pulled his hands out of the bowl. Reaching into the still open flour tub, Gamzee grabbed a handful and spread it out on the counter before adding another. He upended the dough onto the flour before grabbing the rolling pin and covering it with flour as well.

“Gotta make sure it doesn't stick,” he said as Tav frowned in confusion over his actions. Gamzee stepped back from the counter and gently tugged Tavros back into place, his arms around him again.

“Now,” Gamzee murmured, gravely voice caressing his eardrums. Tavros swore he was doing it on purpose but didn't really want to call him out on it. He enjoyed the weight behind him, the arms pressed around him. His heart gave a heavy thump as Gamzee took his hands and placed them on either end of the rolling pin, covering them with his own. “We're going to flatten this sucker out so we can cut circles from it and put them in the tins.”

Tavros nodded as Gamzee pressed his hands down, moving the rolling pin across the dough from the center outwards in each direction, stretching it out. He tried concentrated on the pin, not wanting to screw it up, but the subtle rocking motion of their bodies as they moved was enough to distract him from the process. Chest pressed flushed against his back, the tang of vinegar mixed with sugar and a lighter scent that he could place invaded his mind, almost making him dizzy as heat spread over his cheeks.

“Uh, Gamzee, I think I got it.” He needed to put distance between them or else his mind would start going in places he really didn't want them to go just yet.

“Do you now?” His breath was hot on his neck and the slight squeeze of his hands made Tavros wonder if he was doing it on purpose or not. Before he had a chance to decide, Gamzee pulled away, leaving him to finish stretching out the dough as he turned on the oven and prepared the pie tins. Tavros blinked at the sudden coolness at his back before he brought his mind back to the task at hand.

“What kind you wanna make?” Gamzee asked him, gesturing to the various flavors littered on the counter. Vanilla and chocolate pudding looked good to him at first as Tavros looked at them, but then his eyes fell on the can of pumpkin again.

“Can we do one pumpkin? I haven't had pumpkin pie in a long time,” he said with a smile.

Gamzee grinned back at him as he pushed the can closer to the pie tins. “Perfect. It'll take a bit longer to make than the others, but yeah bro, we can do it. Pumpkin pie is like, the best shit out there. Reminds me of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Always gotta have a pumpkin pie.”

Tavros chuckled, a hint of sadness leaking into it. “Yeah. We always had pumpkin pie with our turkey.” he stopped rolling the dough, thinking. “and homemade stuffing that was plain, but it was so good, dripping with gravy and potatoes. Mom-” his throat caught and he cleared it. “My mother would spend hours in the kitchen just cooking for the day. It was always a big thing, with the two families all together again and...” he trailed off, not realizing he had stopped. It wasn't until Gamzee's hands gently took the roller from him, one hand resting on his back.

“Sounds like good times,” he said quietly.

“They were.” Tavros shook his head and gave Gamzee an apologetic grin. “Sorry.”

“Nah bro, I get it. Family is a sore spot with me too.”

“You mind if I ask why?” Tavros said, running his fingers through the flour left on the table.

Gamzee pulled the dough closer to him and cut it in half before taking the roller to it with swift strokes, rounding one out, quiet for a moment. “I had my family until I was ten, I think. I won't go into the motherfuckin details, but I ended up in foster care.”

Tavros blinked at him. “Wow, really?”

Gamzee nodded as he picked up one of the sections of dough and laid it out in the pan, long fingers pressing into the tin. “Was for a long time. Did some stupid shit, smoked a lot of pot. Still do, on occasion.” He glanced at Tavros before looking back down at the pan. “Dropped out of school, or tried to.” He laughed. “My... fourth? Or fifth maybe? foster parent wouldn't let me. Said I had brains and I was going to use them whether I wanted to or not. Crotchety old man, looked a bit like a goat. Called the motherfucker goat-dad and it used to rile him up something good, but... he was there for me. Rallied behind me when no one else did. Pushed me through school, then college. I have an associates in business. I was going for a bachelors but then the old goat passed away and shit all fell through again for a while. Karkat was the one to drag my ass out of the gutter, literally and not. I owe my life to my bro.”

He crinkled the edges of the dough, forming the crust. “That's my sad shit story. Sorry you asked now?” the tone of his voice was teasing, but there was an edge of sharpness behind it as he reached for the second section of dough.

“No, not at all.” Tavros replied, a strong sense of wanting to hug Gamzee overwhelmed him but he forced himself to stay put. He knew from experience anything resembling pity would be rejected. “My mom died when I was young so I know what you mean.”

Gamzee looked up at him, eyes soft. “Shit, sorry for your pain.”

Tavros shook his head, meeting his eyes. “It's okay. Well, it's not but you learn to deal with it, right?”

Something passed between them and a slight smile crept up on Gamzee's lips. “... right.” Tavros felt the edges of his mouth twinge up as well. It wasn't quiet happy, but it wasn't sad either. More like the recognition of a mutual bond. Unspoken words passed between them in those smiles. A simultaneous apology for the suffering they each faced and acknowledgment of strength of making it through day by day.

Abandoning the pies, the dark haired man moved closer to him, eyes flickering with a shared pain and something much softer swirling in their depths. The breath caught in Tav's throat as an arm slid around him, pinning his body between Gamzee and the counter. His other reached up, brushing a thumb against Tavros' cheek, fingers sliding down his neck in featherlight touches that had his heart beating unbearably loud. Tavros felt his eyes flutter shut, his own hands sliding up Gamzee's chest as he tried to breath past the thumping in his throat as he leaned closer.

A quiet beep of the oven announcing that it was finished heating broke made Tavros' eyes snapped open. He gently pushed Gamzee back, swallowing hard. “G-Gamzee I-” Fingers brushed his lips, silencing him.

“Seems like we're always interrupted by something, huh?” He said with a quiet chuckle, eyes still soft. His fingers kept caressing their way over Tavros' blush stained cheeks and neck, idly tracing patterns against his skin. It wasn't until Tav pulled away that he stopped, stepping back. Tavros grabbed his arm, stopping him from moving too far away.

“Wait! I, shit.” Tavros let out a puff of air. “I wanted to talk to you about... shit, I don't know what to call it. Us? I mean, I know there isn't really an us, or anything, I just, uh, damn. This isn't... it's not coming out the way I meant it to.” He slumped slightly, head down as he let Gamzee's arm go. “I just, there are things and I don't want you to think badly about me... especially after the first night we met and I don't want you to think that I'm this kind of loose person and– ” He quieted again as Gamzee laughed, bringing his head back up to look at him.

“Tavros. I know you're not 'loose'. I've known that since you bolted away like a frightened fucking white rabbit who was late for a very important date.” Gamzee grinned, gently ruffling his hair, which should have made Tavros feel childish, but for some reason it didn't. “And as for...” he made air quotes, “Us. Shit bro, it can be whatever you're comfortable with. You want to just be friends, I can do that. It'd be hard, honestly, but I'd do it. You wanna date? I will wine and dine your ass until you won't know which way is up.”

Tavros shuffled from foot to foot. “I... I'm afraid I haven't been part of the dating scene for a while,” he admitted. “It might be a bit awkward. And then, there's the issue of the baggage...”

“Everyone has baggage. Best part of finding someone you care about is being able to share the weight of it.” Gamzee tweaked his nose with a soft honk.

Rubbing his nose, Tav chuckled. “It's a bit heavy,” he warned.

“Fuck bro, I realized that after yesterday's screaming bit.” When Tavros looked away with a blush, mouth opening to apologize again, Gamzee clamped a hand over it. “No more apologies. I ain't mad.” He thought for a moment. “Well, not at you anyway.”

“What you mean?” Tavros asked, voice muffled through the hand that Gamzee removed with a chuckle.

“Well, I figured someone had to hurt you bad for that kind of reaction. You don't just up and yell at someone over little shit.” He pressed a hand against Tav's chest. “No fucker deserves that kind of ache in his heart. Especially not you. Hell, I can tell just from the few times we met what a caring motherfucker you are.”

Tavros put his hand over Gamzee's, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. “T-thank you,” he whispered, finding it hard to meet his eyes. The felt the fingers under his twist to tangle up in his his, squeezing lightly.

“Don't thank me Tav. I just call it as I see it, and you're not the only bro with baggage. But if you wanna try and get back in this dating thing again, I'm all for it. We'll go real slow like. I won't push a motherfucker to do anything he don't wanna do, though. Just tell me straight up what you want and I'll respect that.”

Tavros forced himself to meet Gamzee's eyes, his own flickering back and forth in thought. “I don't want get hurt again,” he admitted in a hushed voice.

“and I don't wanna hurt a motherfucker either. Don't be afraid, Tavbro.”

Smiling at the new nickname, Tavros took a deep breath. “Slow?”

“Slow.”

“... all right.”

Gamzee smiled, gently pulling their intertwined hands up to his mouth. He placed a gossamer kiss on the back of Tavros' hand, dragging another blush up to his cheeks as the heat of his triumphant gaze bore into his heart.

“Oh my god! Can you two get any more fucking sappier than this bullshit right here? I swear maple syrup farmers could harvest all the sap that you guys are producing.” Karkat's voice penetrated their ears, making them both jump and turn. He was standing in the doorway, hands on his hips with a girl standing behind him. “It's a good fucking thing you're already blind, or else these two would fry your optic nerves.”

The girl shoved past Karkat with a snort, a white Labrador leading the way. “Stop yelling Karkles. Even Pyralsprite can't hear the frequency you're giving off.”

Tavros pulled away from Gamzee, eyes wide as he moved around the counter. “Oh wow, she's beautiful.”

“Isn't she? Best dog ever. She knows all kind of tricks, watch this.” She took off the harness and scratched her back briefly. “Pyral, go give Karkat kisses!”

“Fuck no! Come on Terezi, you know I don't like fucking dog slob- EW!” Karkat yowled as the dog jumped up on him and licked his face. He pushed Pyralsprite off, wiping the drool off with a swipe of his sleeve. “Fucking disgusting.”

“It is not,” Terezi said, bending down for dog kisses of her own. “Such a good girl.”

“God, you better wash your mouth out after or there is no way in hell I'm kissing you for the rest of the night.”

“Who said I wanted any from you?” Terezi stuck her tongue out in the general direction of Karkat before shifting away. “Hey Gam, is this that Tavros kid you keep gushing about?”

Gamzee, who had been quietly finishing the second pie crust, picked up the can of pumpkin and opened it. “Hell yes, sis. This be the motherfucking Tavbro of legend.”

Tavros chuckled as Terezi stood, hand out. “Nice to finally meet the guy that has Gam all hot and bothered. You should have been here the night he met you. I thought he was going to wake up the neighbors with his moaning about how perfect you were.”

“Uh, thanks? I think?” Tavros took her hand, shaking it as Karkat made his way over to the sink to scrub his face with a wet towel.

“I thought you were getting pizza,” he grumbled as Terezi urged Pyralsprite to play with Tavros. Gamzee watched them for a moment, grinning from ear to ear as Tav rubbed her down, making soft crooning noises. “Hello!” Karkat waved his hand in front of his face. “Earth to fucking Gamzee. Get your idiotic head down from fucking cloud nine and talk to me.” He rolled his eyes at his best friend before grabbing a bag to pick up the bottles littering the living room so Terezi wouldn't trip over them.

“Sorry bro. That shit is just too many kinds of motherfucking cute. I forgot to call with the pie stuff and all, but I'll do that in a second. Hey Tav, what kind of pizza you like?”

Tavros looked up at him, earning a lick from Pyral who wanted his undivided attention. He laughed and gently pushed the dog back. “Anything is good, I'm not picky.”

“So you said earlier,” Gamzee said, pulling out his phone to cradle between his ear and shoulder as he dumped the pumpkin into a bowl and added pie spice. He finished pouring the mix into the pie tins as he ordered the pizza. One cheese and one meat lovers, hanging up before he popped the pies into the oven and set the timer. Tavros watched all of this in almost awe as he moved around without dropping the phone or pies. It was almost graceful.

“While we're waiting for pie and,” he chuckled, “pie, did you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Fuck that shit. You're going to watch some crappy ass horror movie aren't you?” Karkat asked. “Hey Terezi, you wanna crash in the room? We can watch our own crappy movie. A good one.”

“A good crappy movie?” she asked with a cackle. “Sounds good to me. It was nice to meet you Tavros, as short lived as it was, though I'm sure we'll be seeing you around again.”

“Haha, seeing. Good fucking one Terezi. You're just a comical genius.” Karkat scowled as he headed for a hallway, Pyralsprite bounding after him. “No! You're staying out here!”

“Oh let her cuddle on the bed with us. If it gets too heated I'll put her out.” Terezi called, following after him slowly. “I won't let her sniff your ass again. Poor girl must have lost some scent receptors that day.”

Tavros covered his mouth with a hand, fighting back a laugh as they disappeared into a back room. He jumped when he felt arms wrap around his waist, a squeak escaping his lips. “What do you say? Horror movie okay?” Gamzee asked, nuzzling behind his ear.

“That sounds cool. I like horror movies. Not as much as sci-fi and fantasy, but they're cool too.” He tried to ignore the nuzzling but it sent chills down his spine, raising goosebumps on his arms that Gamzee reached out and smoothed away with a chortle.

“Come on then.”

They curled up on the couch after Gamzee popped the movie in, but the majority of it was spent talking. Tavros learned that Gamzee's birthday was in January. On the 18th to be exact, making him a Capricorn. He also learned that he had a tattoo of a Capricorn but wouldn't tell him where it was, insisting that if they got closer maybe he would find out, making Tav blush at the insinuation. He was also surprised to find out that Gamzee was four years older than him. 26 to Tavros' 22. They talked about everything from their favorite bands, leading into half-assed rap battles that dissolved into fits of laughter that had Karkat yelling at them from his room. When the pizza finally arrived, they ate in happy silence over Karkat's grumbling about “dorks” and “half baked losers” before he retreated back to his room. It wasn't until the pies were done and pizza long gone that Tavros glanced at the clock, startled to find that it was past midnight.

“Shit, how did it get so late?” he asked, fighting back a yawn at the realization of the time. He normally didn't stay up so long, unless he was out with Aradia and even then.

Gamzee looked at the clock with a frown. “Hell if I know. Here, I'll get that pie for Aradia and walk you home. Don't need my Tavbro walking all alone in the dark.” He stood, moving for the kitchen.

“I can take a cab. That way you won't have to walk back alone yourself,” Tavros said, standing as well with a stretch.

“Nah, fuckers know better than to mess with me.” He pulled a think knife out of his pocket, flipping it open with a practiced flick. Tavros raised an eyebrow as Gamzee chuckled and shut it, tucking it back away. “Gotta protect my honor. It's all a man has after all.” That reduced Tavros to a fit of stifled chuckles, trying not to disturb Karkat anymore than they already had.

“If you're sure.” He felt a pang as he realized he didn't want to go just yet. It had been too much fun hanging out with Gamzee. It felt as if they had known each other forever instead of only a few hours worth of face time.

“Completely sure.” He held out a Tupperware container as they moved for the door, donning shoes.

“Karkat, I'll be right back. Walking Tav home!”

“Yeah, whatever!” Came the muffled reply as he grabbed his keys and held the door open for Tavros to go first. They made their way out into the semi-quiet night. Last minute drinkers trying to get their final buzz for the weekend passed them as they walked in relative silence, only a muttered question or two and quiet laughter broke the air between them.

As they neared his apartment, Tavros slowed, wanting to drag the night out as long as possible. He fiddled with the Tupperware container, made an offhand question about why it was called Tupperware and not Foodware or something equally random that had Gamzee laughing again. He had grown to love that laugh so fast. It helped that it was always ready on Gamzee's lips, and not in a fake-laugh way. It was a true laugh, one that reverberated throughout his whole body.

He hadn't realized they had stopped outside of his apartment until Gamzee brushed a hand through his hair, rubbing the fuzzy sides with the tips of his fingers, bringing him back to the now.

“I had fun today, Tav.”

“Me too.” He looked down, realizing it was time to part. “I'd, uh, like to do it again sometime.”

“Me too, motherfucker. How about tomorrow?” Tavros had to laugh at his eager face.

“I would, but I have homework to finish,” he watched as Gamzee turned the smile to a pout in a blink of an eye. “Thursday?” He countered. “I have class until 4 but after that-” he stopped as Gamzee shook his head.

“I work till 9.” He sighed, thinking. “I can do Friday? We could see a movie, or...” a smile crept over his lips. “you could show me your painting? Skill for a skill?”

Tavros shifted, worrying his bottom lip. “Uh. I don't know. I don't really like people seeing them...” he looked at the hopeful glint in Gamzee's eye and sighed. “Fine. But you have to model for me.”

“I'll strip down to my birthday suit if that's what you want,” Gamzee offered with a chuckle as Tavros pushed his shoulder.

“Not yet.”

“Ooh, yet. Now I like the sound of that.”

“Gamzee!”

“What? You said it.”

He rolled his eyes as Gamzee pushed him back. “I thought you said slow.”

“Slower than death on a hill of molasses,” he said, right hand raised in a scout's promise.

“What?”

“Something the old goat used to say. Just trust a motherfucker that it means really really slow.” Gamzee said, snaking an arm around Tavros' waist and pulling him into a hug. “Shit, I don't wanna leave.”

Tavros smiled and leaned into the hug, his own arms finding their way around Gamzee awkwardly, Tupperware container still lodged in his hand. “I don't want to go either,” he admitted, blushing as Gamzee nuzzled his neck. He closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth and allowing himself to swim in the emotions swirling around him, instead of fighting against the current.

“See you Friday?” Gamzee asked, voice low.

“Friday,” Tavros promised as they slowly parted. He gave Gamzee a shy smile before he swooped in and placed a light kiss on his cheek and pulled away. “Good n-night Gamzee.”

Gamzee reached out and returned the kiss with one of his own, lips brushing the corner of Tav's mouth. “Night Tavros,” he whispered as he let him go. He waited until Tavros had the door open before he gave him a little wave and started back down the street.

Tavros watched him go, heart beating wildly in his chest as he clutched the doorknob in one hand. It wasn't until Gamzee turned the corner with a glance back and another wave that he went inside, mind still reeling.

  
  



	6. Ringtones

Someone was talking to him. That was the first thought that crossed his mind as it slowly dragged itself from its overtired state. A coarse voice invaded his semi-sleeping state as something warm brushed against his cheeks, fluttering over his skin like a feather and dragging goosebumps out on his arms.

“Tavros.” There was a slight crinkling of what sounded like plastic on the other side of his pillow before he buried his face deeper into the covers. He didn't want to wake up. He was warm, curled up in his cozy bed from a late night of talking to Gamzee, much like he had done most of the week since their first 'date.' He still wasn't sure if that's what they were calling it, but it was the best he could do. Thoughts tumbled through his mind, all disjointed as he tried to drag it out of hibernation long enough to respond to the voice still talking to him.

“Tavros,” the voice said again. “I know it was a late night but you said one. It's past one now.”

“Nrr.” He swatted at the hand making its way through his hair. “Five more minutes.”

A chuckle rumbled in his ear as fingers found his scalp again. He could tell just by the touch that his hair was getting long again. Maybe Aradia would cut it for him later.

“Come on sunshine, time to get up.”

“Desaparece. Quiero dormir.”

“Don't be dropping that hot shit on my ear ducts bro. I don't think I can handle it, specially when you're all up and being so fucking cute as hell with this sleepy shit.”

“Go way.”

Another chuckle and Tavros wanted to smack him. He wasn't a morning person in the least, especially not after going to bed at 5am because he didn't know how to say goodbye, or rather, didn't want to. “You really want me to go man?” He asked, amusement coloring his voice.

“...no.”

“No?”

“No.” Sighing Tavros pulled his head out of the pillows, eyes still glued shut. “Don't wanna get up yet.”

He felt Gamzee's fingers slid down from his hair to trace the edges of his ear. “Then what do you wanna do?”

“Cuddles?” Tavros asked with a yawn, scooting out of his warm spot to make room for Gamzee to lay down beside him. He hit whatever it was he had put on the bed beside him but didn't bother to look. The smell drifting from it told him that they were flowers. More to go with the single roses he had found in their apartment box every morning since last weekend, along with little notes. He had hidden the notes away in his dresser drawer, hoping that would deter Aradia who hadn't been allowed to see them. Not that they were dirty in any way, but he wanted to keep them to himself. Most were just little snippets of song lyrics but they made him melt a little each time he got a new one. Doubtless there was another one in with this bouquet but he was more focused on the man, rather than the flowers.

While distracted with his thoughts, Gamzee had been silent. When he didn't respond, Tavros finally cracked his eyes open, thankful for the dark curtains over his window. He turned slightly, looking back to see Gamzee staring at him, a small frown on his face. “Wha's wrong?” he asked groggily.

“Just... wonderin how serious you were with that proposition,” he said finally. “Thought you wanted all this slow stuff and now you're inviting me into your bed?”

Tavros gave him a sleepy smile. “I like cuddles. Me an' Aradia cuddle when we watch movies. 'sides, you've already slept in my bed, 'member?”

Gamzee's frown deepened a moment before he laughed. “Oh, the 8 hour call? Not like I up and planned for you to fall asleep on me... or for me to fall asleep either. Shit, if we're countin that then you've been in my bed too.”

“Heh.” Tavros turned back around, coming face to face with a small bouquet of roses. He reached out, touching the edges of one with a smile. “Still welcome to cuddle if you want. I'm wearin' boxers you know. Not naked or anything.” He reached out, grabbing the small piece of paper tucked into the flowers as he heard shuffling behind him. As he unfolded the square, he felt a blast of cool air as Gamzee lifted the blanket and the bed sank under his weight.

“You don't have to get me flowers you know,” Tavros muttered as he waited for Gamzee to stop shifting in the bed. On the paper were more lyrics and he could hear the song playing in the back of his mind as he read them, lips mouthing the words. ' _We don't need to rush this. Let's just take it slow.... No I don't want to mess this thing up. I don't want to push too far. Just a shot in the dark that you just might, be the one I've been waiting for my whole life. So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight.'_ He felt heat flood up his cheeks as he folded the paper back up and slipped it back into the bouquet.

“You don't like them?”

Tavros shook his head. “Not that. Jus' surprised is all.” He glanced back with a slight frown as he realized Gamzee had settled and wasn't going to close the space between them. His frown turned into a pout. “This isn't cuddling.”

He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Would you believe that a motherfucker isn't sure if he can keep his hands to himself when you're dressed all sexily in just your shorts, bro?”

Smiling, he inched back until he was pressed flushed with Gamzee's chest. He reached around, grabbing his arm to drape over his waist. “I trust they won't wander too far, and even if they do, I promise I won't bite.” He thought about that for a moment. “Well, not unless you want me to.”

He felt Gamzee hesitate a moment longer before his hand slid up Tav's chest to rest there, nose finding its way to the crook of his shoulder with a gentle nuzzle. He other arm slipped under the pillow, cradling his head as Tavros squirmed a little in his grasp to get comfortable. His own hand found Gamzee's, fingers curling around the others as he held it tight against his chest, eyes slipping shut with a contented hum. He had forgotten what it felt like to have someone hold him like that. Cuddling with Aradia was nice, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't really put his finger on the difference, but it was there, like a slow burn in his chest that was from more than just being practically naked.

The brief heat on his cheeks settled back down as the arm under his head bent slightly so that Gamzee could play with the puff of messy bedhead. He leaned into it, mind slowly settling back down into his partially awake state. What had they been talking about before?

“The roses,” he murmured. “I really like them. And the lyrics. They're... sweet. I've never had anyone do something like that before.”

He felt Gamzee's smile on back of his neck, lips pressed against them in a ghost of a kiss. “I told you I would wine and dine the pants right off of you bro. Roses and romantic shit like that come with the territory.”

“I know, but still. It's really sweet of you. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.” Tavros laughed quietly. “Kinda like now. Mm, I love cuddles.” Almost as if to prove his prove his point, he shifted so that he was laying partially on his back, efficiently tucking himself into the shape of Gamzee's arms so that the other man's lips were closer to his ear. “So warm.”

Gamzee sighed, but it was similar to Tav's content hum. He nose found the back of Tavros' ear and rubbed, arms tightening slightly. “I like this too,” he muttered, lips caressing the skin lightly. Everything he did was gentle and deliberate. Fingers brushed his chest ever so softly. It wasn't an overly sexual kind of touch, rather the touch of acknowledgment. That there was someone there who needed human contact and feeling as much as he did.

“Much better than phone cuddles,” Tavros rumbled as Gamzee's lips found their way to the sides of his head. He nuzzled the soft hair there, placing kisses along the edges of the hairline before going back for another run through.

“I'd have to agree with you there. Much, much better.” He lifted their joined hands and brought it to his lips, kissing the tips of Tav's fingers. “Phones are hard. Cold. Impersonal.” He let them fall back to the bed and pressed himself tighter against Tavros. “Not like this. Soft, warm...” He kissed his cheek. “Intimate.”

Shivering, Tav turned his head slightly, lips grazing chin. “Relaxing,” he continued, adding to his list. “Tender,” followed at a softer murmur as he rubbed his cheek against Gamzee's. A smile played on his lips as he started to shift his body, hoping for a kiss.

The Nyan Cat song started blasting from his nightstand and he groaned, flopping back as he let go of Gamzee's hand to stretch across the bed, careful not to crush the flowers. He fingered the phone, urging it closer before he finally nabbed it and flipped it open without bothering to look at the screen.

“Nep. This better be important,” he said with a sigh as he gave Gamzee an apologetic grin and pressed the speakerphone button.

“Of course it's impurrtant,” came a high pitched voice from the phone followed by a giggle.

“Back to the cat puns again, I see.”

“Yep.”

Tavros settled back down and Gamzee started running his fingers through his hair again. “Driving Dad crazy yet?”

Another giggle. “Maybe. Also might be why he wanted me to call you instead of him doing it himself.” There was a brief pause. “Or he and mom are mating.”

“You did not seriously just call me to inform me of Dad's sexual escapades with your mother did you? I swear Nepeta-”

“Oh quiet down you pawful brother. Like I would do that. Dad wanted me to ask you when you were coming home. He couldn't remember if finals were this week or next.”

“Week after next.” He saw Gamzee's frown out of the corner of his eye and he held up a finger, hoping he would understand that he'd explain in a minute. “One week of regular classes, then finals. My last one is on Thursday and I've already have a plane ticket for Friday at 10am. I think the ETA for it is 1:30.”

“Okay. I'll let Dad know. I can't wait to see you again! We need to get bubble tea and pocky and ooh, you haven't seen Ouran yet have you? I know it's bad, but I ship the two guy cousins together so bad, even if one of them is so short compared to the other. It's just a cute ship and I will sail it until it sinks under the weight of the Twincest fangirls taking over the boats. Oh! We have to watch Deadman Wonderland too, and Tiger & Bunny! Those two 'partners' are so gay for each other it isn't even funny. I mean come on, cute little pet names like-”

Gamzee buried his face into Tavros' shoulder, trying to stifle a chuckle as Tav held the phone arms length away, wincing. The talking stopped abruptly, and he was hoping the ranting was over as he brought it back within speaking reach.

“Who is that laughing over there?”

Tavros glared at Gamzee who started laughing harder, turning to hide it in a pillow. “My friend, Gamzee. Apparently he thinks your fangirling is funny.”

“Do you have me on speakerphone again?” she shrieked. “Tavros you're a pawsitively pawful brother! Aradia!”

“She's out in the living room.”

“Where are you then?”

Tavros froze.“Uh, studio?” He silently cursed himself out for the lilt on the end of his sentence.

“You don't sound too sure of yourself. Doth AC smell a lie? She sniffs the air questioningly. 'Smells like.... hot yaois and buttsex.' she says, tasting the scent.”

“Nep. Don't. You. Dare.” Tavros sat up, running a hand through his hair. “What if dad heard you say that? It's bad enough that he doesn't think I'm 'manly' enough, and don't give me that bullshit that he doesn't know what yaoi is. He's started catching on to everything else.” He jumped slightly as Gamzee ran his fingers over his back soothingly and tried to relax. 

There was silence over the phone. It dragged out for a minute before there was a soft sniffling noise from the other end. Tavros instantly deflated, the anger gone. “Aw, Nep don't cry. I didn't mean to yell. Just, don't joke about stuff like that, okay? I'm sure I'll get the whole stupid rant when I get home and that's the last thing I need added to it. Please don't cry.”

“You're so mean,” she whined, and Tavros could just imagine the full on pout mode. He rubbed his forehead, sighing. 

“I'm sorry Nepeta. It's just... you know how Dad is with that stuff. Even if you're joking, he hates it.”

“I know. I hate it, but I know. Shouldn't matter, even if you were. You're family and stuff. You stick with family, you know? I think it'd be awesome to have a gay brother. I mean, look at how much fun we have with Uncle Rufio, but alas, purr me; I have the plain but purrfect brother now. Even if he is mean and yells at me.”

Tavros turned from Gamzee's questioning eyes. “I said I was sorry. Look, I gotta go Nep. Doing some painting and stuff today. Gamz is here as my model so-”

“Nude model?”

“NEPETA.”

She laughed, all trace of pouting gone from her voice. “I'm kidding! Jeeze, lighten up a bit Tav. You know, I think Aradia was pawsitively right about you needing to find someone to mate with.”

“I don't- Wait, what? You've been talking to Radia about.... I'm going to kill you both.”

“She didn't exactly tell me, just mentioned something about it on facebook, or tumblr, or one of those other stupid social networking sites. It wasn't much really, just saying you needed to relax, have a nice lay, and move on with your life.”

He groaned as Gamzee started laughing again. His arms crept around his waist as he nuzzled Tav's side, fingers still rubbing circular motions on his skin.“When was this?”

“Hmm, about a month ago I think? I was going to call you about it, see what was wrong to make her say that, but something distracted me.”

“Thanks Nep. Glad you care enough to tear yourself away from the fandoms.”

“Anytime!”

Tavros rolled his eyes. “But I'm going to let you go Sis. Gotta get busy.”

“Too easy. Not going to touch it.”

“Thanks for that. Love you brat. Try not to drive Dad too crazy and tell your mom I said hi.”

“Love you too and I will! Bye Tavrrrros!”

“Bye.” He hit the end button and slumped forward, knees drawing up slightly. “Ay dios mio. I swear I love my sister. I love her so much I want to choke the life out of her spry little neck.” He didn't move for a good minute or two before he let out a puff of air and twisted to look at Gamzee. “I'm going to lay back down for a bit,” he murmured. 

Nodding, Gamzee unraveled himself so that he wasn't in the way as Tavros shifted back, wiggling to get comfortable again. He stared up at the ceiling, one arm resting over his forehead as the other dropped his phone on the bed. “I'm sure you were curious about that.”

“None of my business if you don't want it to up and be my business.” An arm slid across Tavros' stomach, hand dangling over the edge. “But if you do, I suppose I would ask about the plane ticket bit first?”

Tavros nodded, turning his head to look at Gamzee. “Aradia and I rent out this place for the whole year, but after school ends I go home for a few weeks. Usually two. Dad's birthday is the Wednesday after finals week and I hang out with Nep and some other friends for a bit too. I see my uncle and do some other things as well. Aradia does her home trip sometime in July or August. Depends on when she can get time off.”

“Makes sense. Goin' back home to catch up and see family.” Gamzee rested his chin on Tavros' shoulder, quiet but with a frown of concentration. “Would it be all rude of a motherfucker to ask about the... dad thing?”

“My dad is... traditional in the strongest sense of the word. Extremely religious, believes in hard work and a man's strength to get ahead in the world. He's kind of a...” he looked away. “a bigot, in the most basic form. Hates anything that's considered different from the norm.”

Fingers brushed his chin and gently tugged his face back to meet stormy eyes. “I take it he doesn't know?”

“No. The only home friend who knows is Aradia. I'm a little more open over here about it because if it gets back to the west coast from here, then I guess it was meant to be. But... no one in my family knows. Nep might have an inkling, from all the hints she's dropped about how she'd be okay with it, but that's about it.” Tavros closed his eyes. “I want to tell him but, I know how he'd react. There is no ifs, ands, or buts about it.”

Gamzee nodded, fingers sliding down to wrap around Tavros'. “Can't say I know how it feels to be in your shoes bro, but I'm here for you if you ever do decide to spill the beans. No lie. I'm all up about loving who you love and shit. Gender is just a physical thing, you know? It shouldn't matter how which parts work together best, but what's all up in your heart.”

“Heh, you sound just like Aradia.” He gently squeezed Gamzee's hand. “She thinks I should tell him, consequences be damned, but I'm afraid he'd ban me from talking to Nep. She may be 18 and old enough to think for herself, but I worry about her. Plus, she's my sister. Big brothers have to look out for their sisters.”

Gamzee grinned. “18 huh? She sounded a lot younger.”

Tavros opened his eyes long enough to roll them. “It's the anime thing she likes. It's all 'kawaii desu' for her. I keep telling her it's going to rot her brains, and then she drags me into watching some of them. Some are not half bad, but others are just,” he stopped, struggling to find the words he was looking for. “I don't know. Cracky is the term I think? Completely random. Like killing off characters only to bring them back in later and just, nothing making any sense.”

“Sounds crazy. That song that played when she called, that from one of her things?”

Tavros laughed. “No. It's an internet thing she was obsessed with last time I was home. It's called Nyan Cat and there's this site, right? It plays on a loop and times it to see how long you can take it. I think she had it up to 32 hours at one point. So it became her ringtone.”

“That's cool. You do ringtones for everyone in your phone?”

“Uh, yeah. Usually. If I talk to someone enough I do. Otherwise everyone else gets the default. Aradia's is Bad to the Bone right now, though that will probably change soon. She's going back on an indy-rock kick.”

Gamzee leaned closer, grinning. “You have one for me?”

Tav looked away. “Uh...”

“Think that's a yes, motherfucker. What is it?”

“I, uh, don't have one for you yet.” He refused to meet Gamzee's eyes, even at his insisting.

“Hmm. That so? I'm afraid I don't believe you.” 

There was a rustling that had Tav glancing back. “What are you doing?” He jumped as his phone started blaring  _'Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby. Let me know. Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it And we start real slow.'_ He scrambled for his phone, going for the sheets as Gamzee laughed, holding him back so he couldn't reach it.  _'You just put your lips together and you come real close. Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby. Here we go.'_

“Gamzee!” Tavros smacked his arm, trying to make him let go so he could turn the phone off. His cheeks were burning a bright shade of red as it started the song over again. He managed to slip partially free and was making a grab for it when Gamzee was suddenly up and straddling his waist, knee effectively blocking the phone from his reach.

“What's that Tav? Can't up and hear a motherfucker over such a dirty song.” He leaned down, making Tavros stiffen. “What made you pick a song like that? Hm?” His fingers brushed down Tav's sides, making him squirm slightly. “Got a dirty mind up there, don't you, Tav baby?”

It took a few tries before Tavros got his vocal chords working again. “W-who said it was yours? Said you didn't have one. T-that's the default.”

“Oh? I suppose we can check to see if that's true...” He started reaching for the phone and Tav strained to reach for it.

“No!”

Gamzee laughed, moving lower to nuzzle Tav's neck. “I think your sis was right. Air tastes of lies today.”

Tavros pouted. “Not nice to laugh at someone,” he pointed out, head tilting ever so slightly to the side. “Could be a little nicer about it. I just happen to like that song, you know. It's a good song.”

“A really good song,” Gamzee agreed, pressing a kiss to the pulse on his neck that was beating rapidly. He could hear the blood pound in his ears as his eyes fluttered shut.

“What happened to behaving?” He asked, voice quavering slightly as Gamzee shifted above him, accidentally- or maybe on purpose- rubbing against sensitive areas.

He just got an eyebrow wiggle in return. It was almost enough to make him laugh, but the voice that came after it was anything but funny. It sent chills down his spine as it was growled into his ear, “Feel free to bite me?”

Tavros opened his mouth to reply when a screech cut through the apartment. Gamzee pulled back, looking toward the door as Tav struggled to sit up.

“Aradia? What's wrong?” Tavros called as Gamzee clambered off him and they both raced for the door as another screamed erupted from the living room.

“Aradia!”


End file.
